I dont trust my in- laws watching my 2 yr old son and its creatin marital problems?

Let me explain my in laws a little bit! Their very different from the way I was raised. They always drink, even for my sons 2 yr old bday party they left to go get daiquris amd brought them to the party, my fathwr in law smokes in his house which Iv asked him to please not while we're there visiting bit he seems to think its his house so his rules, also my mother in law called cryong one day for my husband to go calm down his dad bcuz he had a gun and was going shoot my sister in laws boufriend bcuz he is of a race he doesnt like! Their NUTS!! Idk what to do bcuz myother n law is nice but easily influenced by her husbam and cannot stand up to him! All at the same time my husband feels like his parents dont see our son emough and never got to have him sleepover, my parents wath our son all te time while i work on masters cles! Btw, wev asked my MIL to babysit at our house a few times and she flaked out on us last minute but then acts hurt if we dont ask her! Please need advice!!! How/what to tell husband without hurting his feelings? --- ps. Sorry for typos